Dear Mr. Trump!
Welcome to this introduction letter from Nõmme. We don’t want to spend money on video.
We saw you in TV. We totally liked your words. Amazing is a great word. And China sounded like the best word ever invented.
You didn’t mention Nõmme. Big mistake. We live in Nõmme and we are very rich, too. More rich than others. We have lots of trees and gardens, a huge market and a castle. It is the best castle. So true. It was built to greet ships arriving from the sea, but we wanted no channel here. So the seaport is still 10 km from the castle, however, we can greet the ships. We have singers. Very loud voices. Amazing.
You said America first. It was confusing, totally. We have a university. Many students. Very best. We know that our planet is like a ball, roundish. One can start from America, or from Australia or Europe.
You should start to count from Nõmme. Like this: Nõmme first, Saue second, Keila third, etc. Then Washington or some place elsewhere. So easy. We are in the center of Earth. It’s the fact.
We are like city or state. We have great wall, we call it Mustamäe nõlv. Fantastic. Better than China wall, we can ski there. Only fantastic people live in Nõmme. All other, loosers. Especially Tallinn.
You don’t speak Estonian. Big mistake. You cannot read Nõmme Sõnumid newspaper. Totally sad. Nõmme people are the best Estonian speakers ever. Alternative fact. We have many artists, writers, translators. English speakers, too. One made translation of this letter. The very best translation, so true.
We asked our great English speaker to write that you don’t have to come to Nõmme.
We have already a president, actually she lives in Nõmme. Fantastic. You are a man, so you cannot be her. Would be fake, totally. So, you can stay in America first. May be later.
PS! If you want to see the center of the Earth, you can let the Mexicans make a video about Nõmme and pay for it. Great plan. So great.